It is one of those days out of all days this year that I would decide to camp out of the apartment and sleep at the office. During this circumstance, I tend to leisurely watch some shows on TV or do a movie marathon from 1pm to 6pm then lazily go to the shower, taking my time while doing my concert in there, go to my chest and carefully select something that my mood would allow me to wear then brush my teeth, do my hair, spray a drizzle of cologne, then walk to where I could ride a vehicle to work. I do this like I am walking on sunshine. It was 7pm and my shift won't start till 3am the next day. I didn't know, as soon as I stepped in the jeepney, that it will be a highway to hell.
The traffic, God Bless It! I could not take it! 30 minutes and I am still a few meters away from where I stepped in. My neck was straining to get me a good view of what was going on up ahead why the traffic was so terrible that even the driver decided to turn off the engines at first. Maybe instinct told him that it would be a long, long, long while before he could move forward. I told you before that I was impatient! I was already lacrimous with it! I am sleepy. I need to get to the office and sleep! I need to stretch my cramped up legs. I need to breathe, if not fresh air, at least airconditioned and well ventilated air! I need to see what's going on why the traffice is so dire! I need to have the darn vehicle to move!!!! But it did not.
Some passengers already started ranting and it added to the highway stress. I would perfectly understand if someone had an accident or that a car bumped into a bus or a cat from the royal family purred across the street. But I didn't even see a tinge of blood or a passing flash from a camera. After a century and a decade, the car already reached the destination where I could ride a bus to take me straight to the office. Turns out the reason why the traffic is terrible is because it's christmas and the world is panic buying--or buying panic.
12.08.2010
12.07.2010
15 peso- worth of panic
Dear Mr. Taxi Driver,
I have been paying you with a fair fare plus an extra tip-- though I may not know the reason why I am giving the tip to you *probably hypnosis*-- and I always nod whenever you suggest a different route to take to avoid the traffic-- though I know that it is only one of your thousand ways to rip me off. I have been a good passenger and I even sit at the front seat beside you because I believe that if I sit at the back seat, it would make you look like a serf and I, the queen. I don't fasten my seatbelt though-- that, I humbly tell.
I am watching the news today and I was sad to find out about a taxi driver who went straight to the railways without even looking for a sign and ignoring the blasting horns from an incoming train. The passengers died. They were orphans who had just gotten their papers to go to the States for their adoption. Unfortunately, their foster parents could no longer see them. Yesterday, I almost had an accident with a sleepy taxi driver *memo to myself: make sure the driver is wide awake enough to tell me the exact value of pi*. It was scary. He was driving like that from Need For Speed when the car infront of us stopped suddenly so he had to swerve left missing an incoming truck from the back. Luckily, the truck had good breaks. We almost had it.
I never uttered a prayer that minute. My mind was blank during that time. Still, i thanked God because He still managed to think about me and about the life I still have to lead. You should take Him as well, sir.
You always put our lives and our wallets at risk. I wish every turbo you revved in while driving would make the flagdown rate go down to 50%.
Still in panic,
Lee
I have been paying you with a fair fare plus an extra tip-- though I may not know the reason why I am giving the tip to you *probably hypnosis*-- and I always nod whenever you suggest a different route to take to avoid the traffic-- though I know that it is only one of your thousand ways to rip me off. I have been a good passenger and I even sit at the front seat beside you because I believe that if I sit at the back seat, it would make you look like a serf and I, the queen. I don't fasten my seatbelt though-- that, I humbly tell.
I am watching the news today and I was sad to find out about a taxi driver who went straight to the railways without even looking for a sign and ignoring the blasting horns from an incoming train. The passengers died. They were orphans who had just gotten their papers to go to the States for their adoption. Unfortunately, their foster parents could no longer see them. Yesterday, I almost had an accident with a sleepy taxi driver *memo to myself: make sure the driver is wide awake enough to tell me the exact value of pi*. It was scary. He was driving like that from Need For Speed when the car infront of us stopped suddenly so he had to swerve left missing an incoming truck from the back. Luckily, the truck had good breaks. We almost had it.
I never uttered a prayer that minute. My mind was blank during that time. Still, i thanked God because He still managed to think about me and about the life I still have to lead. You should take Him as well, sir.
You always put our lives and our wallets at risk. I wish every turbo you revved in while driving would make the flagdown rate go down to 50%.
Still in panic,
Lee
12.03.2010
I hate waiting...grrr!
If patience is a virtue, then I am not virtuous. You are free to call me un-virtuous and I would not give a fart because no matter how many sermons I've got regarding that part of my live show, I will never ever ever ever learn and I would sincerely accept that as a fact.
I hate wating. I always do things in a rush. I won't have my mind at ease if I can't do things at that moment. I will get sleepless nights and troubled dreams. I will stress myself on thinking about what if's and what's gonna happen if I won't do it. I will be forever haunted by the missed impulse and kept urges. That's why I do not wait. I do things when I feel like it. I do not wait for the right moment. There is no such thing as right moments for me. It's cheesy. Cliche. It's being applied to dreamers only. The only thing that exists is regret if I didn't manage to get what I want when i wanted it and decided to keep the urge until it passes. That's also one of the reasons why my friends won't bring me to the mall, I can't keep myself from being impulsive. If I see a cute dress or a pair of sexy stilettos, I would pick it out of the display and bring it straight to the cashier and I wouldn't mind welcoming poverty after that. I already have so many knick-knacks in my chest that I bought out of impulse and can't seem to fit a place for me to use it. It's really a psychological disorder. I'm crazy so it's normal for me.
My patience was tested last night. My fiance promised me that he'll visit me early so that we could go to the bank and have the money deposited and we can quickly book a flight for me to go home during the holidays. My palm's sweating and my fingers were super crossed. In fact, they're not crossed-- they're already twisted. To do my time away, I watched movies to distract my attention. I popped Dreamgirls since I haven't watched that film and I wanted to listen to Beyonce's Listen. Two hours had passed and there still no Jeremiah on the front porch. Not even a shadow of his ass. I was starting to cound ten to one just to ease the increasing turmoil. I was sitting in the sofa bed. Unabling to move. Yet my impulse is going haywire. I have to book the ticket and go home. He can't possibly do that to me! He should understand. I've already cried the other day because I did not manage to book a ticket and he promised he'd come early next. Another hour passed and I'm already in a depressed mood. Banks were already closed. He's not answering my calls. And I'm helpless and hopeless. I called my mom but the line cut short. I so hated everything that day. It was like I was having a withdrawal from a drug that I was using. I cried and whined. I counted again from ten to one with one being the part where I would inhale deeply. I would relax then cry again. I decided that it's of no use. Inside my head, I was already thinking of ways to make my fiance bleed. I was so mad! I want to throw things and reek havoc in the apartment because I want to book a flight and I can't do it! The familiar feeling of helplessness is flooding in again and so I would cry again. Another three hours passed, the madness and havoc already went down. I was calm and I was praying. And just as when I decided to close my eyes and sleep since he won't be coming, images of him dead inside the coffin would keep zooming in. My hatred and grief subsided but here comes Ms. Melancholia echoing dire deaths of my fiance in my head. It was because I called his younger brother and the latter tole me that he left the house early. He should be in my apartment even before the banks closed! I was worried and I prayed agian that I won't be plotting murder against my finace ever again so long as he would return home safe and unscathed. I was crying and whimpering. I was worried. Anger can be easily managed. But melancholy is difficult. Especially if you can hear your friends laughing outside your room.
I didn't know what happened. Maybe God listened to me and took pity. I managed to sleep and woke up with him beside me. My emotional turmoil was gone. That was the longest night I ever had. I still itch for the tickets. Let me check the flights again.
I hate wating. I always do things in a rush. I won't have my mind at ease if I can't do things at that moment. I will get sleepless nights and troubled dreams. I will stress myself on thinking about what if's and what's gonna happen if I won't do it. I will be forever haunted by the missed impulse and kept urges. That's why I do not wait. I do things when I feel like it. I do not wait for the right moment. There is no such thing as right moments for me. It's cheesy. Cliche. It's being applied to dreamers only. The only thing that exists is regret if I didn't manage to get what I want when i wanted it and decided to keep the urge until it passes. That's also one of the reasons why my friends won't bring me to the mall, I can't keep myself from being impulsive. If I see a cute dress or a pair of sexy stilettos, I would pick it out of the display and bring it straight to the cashier and I wouldn't mind welcoming poverty after that. I already have so many knick-knacks in my chest that I bought out of impulse and can't seem to fit a place for me to use it. It's really a psychological disorder. I'm crazy so it's normal for me.
My patience was tested last night. My fiance promised me that he'll visit me early so that we could go to the bank and have the money deposited and we can quickly book a flight for me to go home during the holidays. My palm's sweating and my fingers were super crossed. In fact, they're not crossed-- they're already twisted. To do my time away, I watched movies to distract my attention. I popped Dreamgirls since I haven't watched that film and I wanted to listen to Beyonce's Listen. Two hours had passed and there still no Jeremiah on the front porch. Not even a shadow of his ass. I was starting to cound ten to one just to ease the increasing turmoil. I was sitting in the sofa bed. Unabling to move. Yet my impulse is going haywire. I have to book the ticket and go home. He can't possibly do that to me! He should understand. I've already cried the other day because I did not manage to book a ticket and he promised he'd come early next. Another hour passed and I'm already in a depressed mood. Banks were already closed. He's not answering my calls. And I'm helpless and hopeless. I called my mom but the line cut short. I so hated everything that day. It was like I was having a withdrawal from a drug that I was using. I cried and whined. I counted again from ten to one with one being the part where I would inhale deeply. I would relax then cry again. I decided that it's of no use. Inside my head, I was already thinking of ways to make my fiance bleed. I was so mad! I want to throw things and reek havoc in the apartment because I want to book a flight and I can't do it! The familiar feeling of helplessness is flooding in again and so I would cry again. Another three hours passed, the madness and havoc already went down. I was calm and I was praying. And just as when I decided to close my eyes and sleep since he won't be coming, images of him dead inside the coffin would keep zooming in. My hatred and grief subsided but here comes Ms. Melancholia echoing dire deaths of my fiance in my head. It was because I called his younger brother and the latter tole me that he left the house early. He should be in my apartment even before the banks closed! I was worried and I prayed agian that I won't be plotting murder against my finace ever again so long as he would return home safe and unscathed. I was crying and whimpering. I was worried. Anger can be easily managed. But melancholy is difficult. Especially if you can hear your friends laughing outside your room.
I didn't know what happened. Maybe God listened to me and took pity. I managed to sleep and woke up with him beside me. My emotional turmoil was gone. That was the longest night I ever had. I still itch for the tickets. Let me check the flights again.
11.30.2010
Waving Goodbye To My Childhood Part 2
Goodness!! I couldn't believe my pretty dark brown- close- to- black eyes that I could also blog at the office! Yee hah! This saves me from the pits of Morpheus' tempting whispers of slumber. Anyways, let me continue with what happened during and after Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows P.I.
So I was able to book myself a ticket and went inside the cinemas with a big pack of Nova in my left hand and a Grande Tripple Espresso Add Affogato Dark Mocha Frappucino on the other. It was a bit funny though that I had my ears plugged with Dashboard Confessional's new album and had my head in mp3 mode with Belle of the Boulevard and I was inside the cinemas at that, oblivious of the old man who sat behind me and an old supervisor who sat at the very back whom I later noticed after the curtains closed. After 3 minutes of banging my head in the air in the dark, trailers started to zoom in right in front of me (zoomed in because I selected a seat where it's just 3 rows apart from the big screen) and so I decided to stop the music and tune in to what the future has to offer in big screens. Gulliver's Travels is much anticipated as long as Tangled. Narnia is a bit too tiring to watch, especially with the long, long, long, long volumes. And Afterlife is wee bit interesting.
And so the trailers started to present what's next in the future of cinematography *ahaha!for the lack of words!* and after that, that familiar tune... Hearing it sends me goosebumps. Hearing it makes me want to hum it for a lullaby while my sleepless arm would painstakingly mix kalamay *which I would like to imagine as potion* on an extravagantly big cauldron. Hearing it is nostalgia of my childhood and how it felt the first time I read the book and stepped inside the cinemas when it first launched in the movies. I still couldn't forget the time when I was too shy to borrow a tape (note: it's not a cd! CD's don't exist in my impoverished world that time) a classmate bought which is a compilation of the movie's soundtrack. I remembered bringing a walkman in school so that I could put on the tape and plug my ears with Harry Potter's World and A Trip to Diagon Alley. That time, my mother never bought me the tape because I wasn't doing good at school. It was my dark age period.
It never fails that everytime we watch Harry Potter, the whole family would be there to watch it too. We've watched it till Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. That time, it was me, mom, and dad who watched it right after the mall opens for the day. My sister was at school that time but we managed to watch it again. This time, it's with my sister. Harry Potter has been a family tradition.
And this time, as the infamous sequel is ending, we watched it together simultaneously. Me, alone in the cinema at WalterMart in Makati and them in the cinemas of SM Davao.
I was quiet and observant through the whole film. It was like watching an episode of your childhood slowly dying. As usual, it was far different from what I've read. I don't even remember Ginny asking Harry to help her zip up and kissing her afterwards. Although the part where the Fred, or was it George?, caught them red-handed was better than Ron catching them in the book. I also scringed in the scene where Harry and Hermione were kissing butt naked as shown by the horcrux to Wonwon. It was like child abuse for me since I am used to seeing them as kids. It's really hard to give those memories up. Overall, the movie was as dark as I've expected it to be. Yates improved and I think he learned his lesson well with the Half-Blood Prince of Twilight thingy movie. Helena Bonham-Carter is still my favorite. And dobby's death was as tragic as the book. It was de ja vouz. I read Dobby's death two years ago and cried and whined at my boyfriend over the phone because of that and now, I did the same thing. This time, it's with my fiance. Everything has drastically changed. But I still can't say that "All is Well"
So I was able to book myself a ticket and went inside the cinemas with a big pack of Nova in my left hand and a Grande Tripple Espresso Add Affogato Dark Mocha Frappucino on the other. It was a bit funny though that I had my ears plugged with Dashboard Confessional's new album and had my head in mp3 mode with Belle of the Boulevard and I was inside the cinemas at that, oblivious of the old man who sat behind me and an old supervisor who sat at the very back whom I later noticed after the curtains closed. After 3 minutes of banging my head in the air in the dark, trailers started to zoom in right in front of me (zoomed in because I selected a seat where it's just 3 rows apart from the big screen) and so I decided to stop the music and tune in to what the future has to offer in big screens. Gulliver's Travels is much anticipated as long as Tangled. Narnia is a bit too tiring to watch, especially with the long, long, long, long volumes. And Afterlife is wee bit interesting.
And so the trailers started to present what's next in the future of cinematography *ahaha!for the lack of words!* and after that, that familiar tune... Hearing it sends me goosebumps. Hearing it makes me want to hum it for a lullaby while my sleepless arm would painstakingly mix kalamay *which I would like to imagine as potion* on an extravagantly big cauldron. Hearing it is nostalgia of my childhood and how it felt the first time I read the book and stepped inside the cinemas when it first launched in the movies. I still couldn't forget the time when I was too shy to borrow a tape (note: it's not a cd! CD's don't exist in my impoverished world that time) a classmate bought which is a compilation of the movie's soundtrack. I remembered bringing a walkman in school so that I could put on the tape and plug my ears with Harry Potter's World and A Trip to Diagon Alley. That time, my mother never bought me the tape because I wasn't doing good at school. It was my dark age period.
It never fails that everytime we watch Harry Potter, the whole family would be there to watch it too. We've watched it till Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. That time, it was me, mom, and dad who watched it right after the mall opens for the day. My sister was at school that time but we managed to watch it again. This time, it's with my sister. Harry Potter has been a family tradition.
And this time, as the infamous sequel is ending, we watched it together simultaneously. Me, alone in the cinema at WalterMart in Makati and them in the cinemas of SM Davao.
I was quiet and observant through the whole film. It was like watching an episode of your childhood slowly dying. As usual, it was far different from what I've read. I don't even remember Ginny asking Harry to help her zip up and kissing her afterwards. Although the part where the Fred, or was it George?, caught them red-handed was better than Ron catching them in the book. I also scringed in the scene where Harry and Hermione were kissing butt naked as shown by the horcrux to Wonwon. It was like child abuse for me since I am used to seeing them as kids. It's really hard to give those memories up. Overall, the movie was as dark as I've expected it to be. Yates improved and I think he learned his lesson well with the Half-Blood Prince of Twilight thingy movie. Helena Bonham-Carter is still my favorite. And dobby's death was as tragic as the book. It was de ja vouz. I read Dobby's death two years ago and cried and whined at my boyfriend over the phone because of that and now, I did the same thing. This time, it's with my fiance. Everything has drastically changed. But I still can't say that "All is Well"
11.21.2010
Waving Goodbye To Childhood part 1
Garamond has always been the official Harry Potter font in all of the Harry Potter series. I would like to do this in that font however it's not being supplied in this blog. November 18 was the date when the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows would be released. November 14 was the premier, I think, here in the Philippines.
I was one of the few who actually made a countdown for the Harry Potter epidemic until the release date would come. I was planning to watch it on the weekend with my boyfriend instead of watching it on the premier however the Harry Potter disease was everywhere. At the office, I would hear fans and non-fans bragging about the tickets they've booked beforehand. I was the only one who did not book a ticket to think that the whole world knows that Harry Potter is screaming Avada Kedavra on my forehead. Me and my friend, Aggy, took a taxi after shift and I dropped her off at the cinemas because she's one of the non-fan, muggle born people who will be watching the movie. Me, on the other sad hand, went straight home like nothing is happening although on my way home i could hear people talking about the infamous movie. It's like everytime I hear his name, I feel the itch. I finally coped up with the pressure around me and managed to go home like nothing's ever happened. My mantra that time was "It's David Yates! It's David Yates! It would be just like book 6 and the twilight-ish atmosphere and not a dark English movie!!" It was just to put me at ease on a very stormy mental sea trip.
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| i stole this pic from Airon's Fb..^^v |
11.14.2010
Priorities
Let me start this blog with a dilemma that I'm having.I just received my 13th month bonus and I had all my budget meant for things like Christmas gifts for my princess nieces, and for my family. Nothing for myself. Until something came along the way. A handsome offer from a handsome guy. I dunno if it is because he had cute chinky eyes or if he was really good at sales that he really had me for it-- to enroll at Fitness First. I was so enthralled with the program that they're offering and I was so gonna grab it that day. I was sweating good and I was having fun and I was really feeling that I'm getting thin. It was something I thought I could have for a Christmas gift to myself but of course, even if the offer was served in a very tempting platter, I still have to reconsider. I can not have it inserted on the budget that I have for Christmas. I never had anything bought for myself and enrolling would really mean something to improve the way I look--not that I'm complaining or that insecurity is building up, Nada! not those pesky emotions made for teenagers-- I just want to be pregnant. I know it would really help.
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| This was me before |
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| This is me now that I have to work with! |
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